KEN BOLTON Double Trouble


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                            " . . .  this dog's life . . . "                                                        Verlaine

                                                &
                     "We must observe the amenities
                      even if we are going nuts."

                        "we hear, misinterpret, then depart"                             -      Manhire

                              exult ,    exultant


                        "Friend or foe," says the cook
                                                                                in this establishment

                                                                he is
                        a 'joker'

                        an establishment I had my lunch in today
                        or, anyway, coffee

                        Now, 
                        big swigs of resin

                        the joint kicks in  -
                                   there goes my handwriting

                        I look at the drawing again

                                        Archie Shepp, Lou Reed, Fats Waller

                        "Some Day My Thoughts Will Come"

                        time to do another version?
                                                                                                it is a shitty drawing

                The Towle quote
                                "August and then December will close the century
                                  O air of your dreams descending on my day off"

                                                                                                                        now why is that
                                                                                                                                so great?

                        Well it is

                                                                has something of the feel
                                                                        of this drawing I'm copying
                                                                                                                   (I copy)

                                                                                                I attempt to replicate

                                                        distracted slightly as
                        Anna fights with Cath about not wanting
                        her hair trimmed
                                                                                        tho she agreed
                        moments before
                                                                          I expect I am
                        taking her still
                                                                        to WINSTON COIFFURE,
                                                                                                                                Winston Avenue
                        in about 15 minutes

                                                photography  poetry  &  jazz
                                                        -  this poem's 'ambit claim'


                                                                                                                        I've been spelling
                        "minuscule" wrongly for ages  -  luckily I never use it

                        "leaves the tenor drifting like smoke over the
                                                rhythm section"
                                                                                                                        Greil Marcus

                        for me it doesn't
                                                tho I'm glad he wrote that way about it

                        a song I love
                                                                        is more esteemed 
                                                                        (is "esteemed more")

                                                                                                                        Later, I sing
                        "Downhearted"  for a moment,
                                        the Australian Crawl song

                                                                                                                Why were they
                        so intellectually unrespectable?

                                                                                                                        Because I
                        liked them?


                                                                                Gabe gets up 
                                                                                                                & goes
                        banging about the house  -

                                                                                        too 
                                                                                                tired to chew, he says,
                        of some crusts
                                                                he carries in his hand
                                                                                                                                                to the bin
                        5 a.m.
                                                At six he goes out
                                                                                                                to go rowing
                        no doubt waking John
                                                                                        the corrugated iron gate
                        drags explosively.    He peddles off
                                                                                                                        into the dawn
                        a good kid
                                                                Cath sleeps
                                                                                                                I hope, in our
                        front room
                                                                I sit up
                                                                                                        awake         "&  ready to squabble"

                        to quote the poem
                                                                                at any rate    "awake",
                                                                                                                                                                make
                        tea for Gabe,
                                                           make
                                                                                small conversation,  in hushed
                        tones,
                                                finish Anna's homework
                                                                                                                                endless variations
                        on 3 times tables
                                                                                they  all  come  back!
                                                                                                                                                                joke.
                        & read the wonderful Dinah Hawken poem,
                        Writing Home
                                                                                                Tom might ring tonight
                        Cath's brother
                                                                        & come over
                                                                                                                                he & John
                        separately
                                                        are here for the Festival                 (Writers Week)

                        "together separately"
                                                                                                -  well that is how it is   "in these
                        divided times"                   (which I think is a line of John's

                        more or less  -
                                                                                overpunctuated by me)

                                                                                                in the bathroom I look at a
                        spider on the wall, little balls of dust, gathered where the wall
                        meets the floor
                                                                                                        walls & floors  -
                        & where they meet

                                                                                                I remember a wall in Redfern

                        ceilings & walls    bits of rooms   I have stared at
                        in the houses I've lived :   a series of them
                        very clear memories, stored, & never recalled

                                the birthmark on the back of the hand
                                small & pale & barely noticeable that I love
                                almost independently of who it is on  I forgot
                                I knew it   I must once have stared at it
                                so often   from out of time   where the hand meets
                                the wrist   as we buy a bottle for old times' sake
                                our hands together on the counter  & I see it

                                I did a drawing of the room in Redfern

                                A mistake   :             no one visited there
                                        Sal did                 & Dad                                   (Sal moved in!)

                                memories like these   of bits of rooms   like passages from
                                Virginia Woolf  -  the reflections bouncing steadily &
                                always in that one place,  tho that "one place" 
                                varies from room to room,    the hairline crack
                                in the ceiling, the characteristic noise  -  of traffic
                                going past


                        where another friend
                                                                                        ,disturbingly,
                                went mad.

                                                                                                        I moved
                                                                                                soon after.


                                                                                                                                                He would
                        break in
                                                                steal mixed nuts
                                                                                        from a big jar I had.

                                                                                                                                                                        I didn't
                        notice.
                                                        Weeks before I had told him
                                                                "to go easy on them"

                                                                                                                                                                He was
                        sane then

                                                        He frightened Sal
                                                                                                                -    strangers to each other

                        when she met him in the kitchen  -

                                                                                                                        no one was home,

                        he backed silently out the room
                                                                                                                                        out the back &
                        out to the alley.
                                                                                        She thought she saw him 
                        once or twice more
                                                                        near the house.                         Clearly he had been.

                        I didn't guess it was Larry

                                                                                                                Weeks later he was in
                        the bin.
                                                                His girlfriend called.


                                another article by McKenzie Wark in the papers
                                                to the tune basically of

                                                "Tomorrow belongs
                                                   to my Department"

                        It probably does, too.
                                                                                                        Nothing belongs to me

                                                I'm just having
                                                        "Double Trouble"


                        Having, really, a good time

                                                        more or less sane

                                                        together again    with John

                                                                with Cath  

                                                                                                                                                & getting
                                                                                                                                                                tomorrow
                                                                                                                                        a haircut myself!


                        "Julie," I rang,
                                                                        "I'm looking pretty unkempt."

                        Her answering machine.
                                                                                She rang back.
                                                                                                                                                                        I make
                        an appointment
                                                                        put 'the Banana' on my bike

                                                    & peddle down  -
                                                                        to WINSTON COIFFUREMENT

                                                Double Trouble I say,
                                                                as we come
                                                thru the hairdresser's door


                        ride back, get vegetables on the way  -  dinner
                                                for the household
                                                                                Cath, John, Gabe, & me, Anna  -
                                                                                                                                                                                                maybe Tom


                if he keeps his appointment



Ken Bolton